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S.A.R.F.P. has reduced the ransom demand from 50 cents to 2 dimes and one piece of candy. The kind of candy has not yet been specified, but an S.A.R.F.P. communiqué insists that it must "BE YUMMY."
Critter maintains that the S.A.R.F.P.'s good will should not be expected to last forever. He also warned of the possibilty of lengthy negotiations leading to a "Stockholm Effect" on Piglet. On his third attempt to correctly say "Stockholm Effect," Critter swung his long legs in a circle above his head before falling and landing on his face. After a peep and the brief flapping of his small wings, Chicky declared the press conference over.
Some suspect that the kidnappers are not so concerned with the actual monetary worth. Rather, the key factors might be their ability to share the loot and the shininess of the coins.
Rattle Duckie and Fierce Rabbit applied for a marriage license today, declaring they are "very happy."
Babo launches new line
The famous "Ugly Doll" will promote a line of special lint brushes.
Inchworm conflict settled
Marked Inchworm came out ahead of Pastel Inchworm in the judges' measurements. The two are no longer speaking.
Controversy surrounds Sunday night movie
The Stuffed Canine Union is leading a protest against Sunday night's screening of Benji.