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SPECIAL: PIGLET KIDNAPPED!
The News in Brief
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When the family returned home after a wonderful dinner with friends, they noticed the sweet-tempered oinker was not with his baby companion.
A wild search of the home revealed nothing. It was only the next morning, when they received a ransom note from the kidnappers, that they knew what had happened. They have shared the note with The Gazette, and we reproduce it here.
WE HAVE PIGLET. HE HAS NOT BEEN HURT. NO HARM WILL COME TO HIM IF YOU FOLLOW OUR DEMANDS.
- DELIVER 50 CENTS IN SMALL, UNMARKED COINS (no pennies, please).
- DO NOT NOTIFY THE POLICE.
- YOU HAVE ONE WEEK TO PAY OR ELSE IT'S BACON TIME.
- NO FUNNY STUFF.
S.A.R.F.P.
STUFFED ANIMAL REVOLUTIONARY FREEDOM PARTY
As evidence, the SARFP had included the photo below:
While the family confers with government officials, we at the Gazette appeal to the kidnappers for Piglet's swift release.
The scrappy Dem will seek re-election next year, it was announced.
Singing Bunny to give concert
Popular singer of "Rock-a-bye Baby" to give free concert at Hammock Arena.
Inchworms demand parity!
The two Inchworms have demanded an independent judge assess who is the longer inchworm.
Doggies to form union
The Association of Stuffed Doggies has announced it will formally become the Stuffed Canine Union and will be open to all sizes.
Rattle Duckie and Fierce Rabbit to wed
Challenging the inter-species marriage ban, the two will apply for a license Saturday, and plan to file a civil suit against the Government.