So, my anniversary gift from Josh arrived tonight, (the leather anniversary, for those of you playing along at home), a pair of tan ankle-high Frye harness boots. They look amazing. They're a little tight, but I have hopes that the leather will stretch with wear and eventually my ankles will stop being swollen and I will have a little more room in them. The feet fit well, it's just the ankles that are the problem. If not, well, I know an excellent cobbler who can perform miracles of stretching.
Josh has a pair himself that I have alternately coveted and loved on him since the day I first saw them, lo these many years ago. So I am thrilled to finally own a pair myself.
I don't want to take them off.
Wow. I have now plunged to a personal nadir of pregnancy-related humilation.
I have a bad cough. And I have pregnancy-related incontinence (and please spare us all the bloodbath that would ensue by NOT saying "Have you tried kegels?" Wouldn't help.). So I am sitting at my desk, in the open newsroom, when a coughing spasm comes over me and to my horror, the pad I am wearing becomes...overwhelmed.
I waddle to the public ladies' room and attempt to rinse out the crotch and ass of my white trousers -- did I mention they are, of course, white? -- and give up on my underwear as a bad job. Buck naked below the waist, enormously pregnant, in the office public ladies' room.
A co-worker comes in, luckily someone I know, and alas for her, she probably catches a glimpse of my bare naked ass as I am sprinting for a stall. She kindly offers help, but alas, does not have a spare set of maternity pants at her desk. I flap the wet pants around in the stall, hoping they will dry. They do not. Nor does the bathroom have a handy hot air-dryer.
I then realize that I will have to go commando and THEY ARE WHITE PANTS. I will be giving my office and the tour groups that pass through a wet T-shirt contest view of my nethers.
Ingeniously, I line the area with white paper towels, and waddle back to my desk hoping the cold clammy pants contraption will dry. It does not, particularly.
I conclude this tale of woe with the good news that a Daffy's is nearby and while they have no maternity sizes, they do have a few size 20W pants that will suffice. They even let me wear my new underwear into the dressing room before paying for them.
I am no longer worried about my water breaking at the office. At this point, I could give birth on the conference room table without shame.
Lest anyone think we have a little angel...
We have had several biting episodes recently: First Trixie was bitten on the arm pretty badly by a classmate in a classic "Mine!" incident a few weeks ago. She seemed upset about it but was processing it, and would say "______ bite" and then "No bite" in a (hilarious) sad little voice whenever she wanted a little pity party attention.
Whenever she's attempted to bite one of us it's always been as a momentary frustration on the same level as the occasional swing she'll take when she isn't getting her way, and she sort of elaborately begins to bite as though she's saying "Ooooh, look at me, I'm naughty!" which we have time to intercept and say, "No biting" and thus she's never actually bitten anyone. Until this weekend.
What happened was I was giving her a bath and trying to get her to sit down. She stood up and bumped her head on the rubber duck protecting the spout (thus earning its keep, right there), started crying, and while I had an arm around her to comfort her and keep her from further head-bumping, she bit my shoulder. It hurt and shocked me, so I'm afraid I yelled "ow!" and she started crying even harder and then I burst into tears too. Pregnancy hormones. Such fun. J. jumped right in to take her out of the bath and let me have a few minutes to pull my shit together and then eventually we all calmed down.
I think she was upset and angry and frustrated and it sort of surprised her, because she did look shocked and scared at what she had done. I'm sure my screaming in pain had something to do with it too.
I don't think she's really a biter -- this was her first infraction -- and I hope she was upset enough that she won't do it again to any one, and in the meantime we have been working the "No biting" angle pretty hard.